


Goodbye, Dean.

by SandM1827



Category: Sons of Anarchy, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Implied Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 09:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandM1827/pseuds/SandM1827
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had carved a place into Jax’s heart like a deep scar that would never fade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye, Dean.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Gif set: [Goodbye, Dean.](http://stilinski-ortiz.tumblr.com/post/112125601669)  
> Mentions of past Jax/Tara and Dean/Lisa.  
> Set in the Sons of Anarchy Series Finale Papa's Good.

The scores on the card had been settled. Marks. Roarke. Baroski. Gemma. They were all dead by his hand. It did not make him feel any better, though he never thought it would. Truth was, he hadn’t felt much of anything since his wife’s body had been taken from his arms. He thought maybe the numbness was beginning to wear off, now that he was so close to the end.

Perhaps that is what drew him to the cemetery that morning to see Opie and Tara. It could have been why he felt compelled to spend his final moments at his father’s memorial rather than with his brothers. He knew it was nostalgia and the barest need for someone familiar that had him dialing a number he had not called in what felt like years.

“Hello?” The voice at the other end of the line sounded older and deeper than he remembered, but there was no denying whom it belonged to.

“Dean.”

Dean Winchester was a ghost that had haunted him since the first time he had seen him. He was a living ghost, which was somehow worse than a dead one. He was someone Jax had always wanted, but knew he could never really have.

They were both still in high school when they met. Dean and his dad were working a job in Charming at the time, and had stopped by TM to tune up the Impala. Jax and Dean hit if off quickly, both as friends and as lovers. The problem was, Dean was just passing through, he could not stay, and Jax couldn’t go with him.

They kept in touch, spoke on the phone, and wrote letters. They saw each other if their paths happened to cross. Dean found his way to Charming whenever he ended up in California. Those visits tapered off around the time Dean lost his father, Jax became one, and when Tara had waltzed back into his life.

“Jax.” Dean said his name like a prayer, as if he had been waiting for this call. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, I know.” The last time they had spoken had to have been after Dean left his girlfriend and her kid.

He had called Jax to tell him he had tried the apple pie thing and it didn’t work out. Jax had been back with Tara for a while by then, but it still hurt to hear that Dean had settled down with someone else. He had tried, long before he married Wendy, to get Dean to make a life with him, but he never would.

It was their lifestyles that prevented them from being together. Dean was always on the road, while Jax had a home in Charming. They never would have worked out unless one of them gave up on something, Dean his brother, Jax his club. That was a compromise neither could make.

Jax loved Tara, more than he ever thought he could love anybody, but Dean was special. He saw parts of Jax that Tara could not understand. He had carved a place into Jax’s heart like a deep scar that would never fade.

“What’s going on?” There was already a hint of fear in Dean’s tone, as if he already knew there could only be one reason for Jax to break the silence that sat between them the last few years.

“I called to say goodbye.” Dean had made a call like that to him once. A house call.

He had shown up in the middle of the night. He didn’t speak a word. He just took Jax to bed and they fucked as if it would be the last time they ever would. Jax had been so lost in the want and desperation of it that he did not realize anything was wrong until Dean grunted _I love you_ into his ear as Jax pushed inside of him. It marked the first and last time Dean had ever said those words to him. It had shocked him, but not enough for him to question it, though maybe he should have, because three days later, Jax got a call from Dean’s uncle Bobby, telling him Dean was dead.

There was no funeral, no wake. Dean was just gone. He was dead until he wasn’t anymore and Jax had been smart enough not to ask too many questions his mysterious resurrection.

There would be no resurrection for Jax. Once he was gone, it would be for good. He didn’t want to come back. He had lost too much. He had caused damage to the people around him that he could not repair. The only thing he could do for his family, for himself, was neutralize the threat. In this case, he was the threat.

“Goodbye?” Dean had offered him a chance at closer once before, it was his turn to return the favor.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> [TUMBLR](http://www.stilinski-ortiz.tumblr.com/)  
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/user/SandM1827/)  
>  Thank you for all the comments and kudos, they are greatly appreciated.


End file.
